Planning to drop the ‘Dear’

Of the many things in life that we take for granted…one of them is the word ‘Dear’…but in a special circumstance. 

If your boss’s name or head of Institution's name is Kate and one day you walk up to her and say “Dear Kate…Can we discuss the upcoming project”. You are sure to get a frown from her…because its not the way we greet someone. I guess the most usual thing to say would be “Hi Kate.” But if you were to write the same lines in a mail i.e “ Dear Kate, Can we discuss the upcoming project”. You will definitely not be frowned upon.

That’s the strange thing about the word ‘Dear’. When you start a letter or mail with it…its all right…but the moment you utter it in a conversation…something’s wrong. I guess…it has to do a lot with the school education most of us got…where all letters started with ‘Dear something something’ and even “Dear Sir”. How can someone you call ‘Sir’ be ‘Dear’ to you. Its the legacy of education system that brought us up and we perhaps need to shed it in the times of Email, in the 21st Century.

A few days back someone sent me an SMS saying “ Thanks dear…I got your mail”. I was a bit uncomfortable. May be its time to stop the strangeness around ‘Dear’ and evolve to a much healthier ‘Hi’ or ‘Hello’…which you use in your daily lives. Lets start using ‘Hi’ and ‘hello’ in the e-mails and letters we use rather than the strange ‘Dear’.

Not convinced… Then be honest with using ‘dear’ and … the next time you meet your CEO or Director General in the elevator…Say “ Dear Samantha (or whatever)…how are you?”. 

 All the best!

P.S 1 - I wrote this piece in 2010...thats what my blog tells me...and the title was 'Planning to drop the 'Dear'. It is December 2021 that I am writing this post-script and I still havent implemented my plan. I have been using 'Dear' pretty generously all these years with a mixture of 'Hi' and 'Hello'. May be, because the office environment never allowed me to go any other way.

But I guess its high time now that I implement what I planned. Having spent years in offices, I know I will have to justify it...so I will be putting this blog link in my signature for emails starting today. I never use signatures but this one has to be there as a disclaimer lest my bosses and higher ups think of me as a frivolous colleague trying to be too casual...unprofessional. Also, may try using 'Dear' with some super formal correspondences with ambassadors, ministers and people in the government, who may not have the time to read my signature link.

Plenty of articles on the net that give a nod for dropping the 'dear'. The link to my favourite one seems to be not working as of now. So, a more balanced one is from 2012 in Forbes: I guess I was still a couple of years ahead of time in terms of the idea if not the execution. 

And very lastly...I think if its a chain of emails you are responding, there perhaps is no need to add 'Dear X' or even 'Hi X' again and again. Takes time. Its ok to just reply without naming the person. With the overload of emails it will save some time. It is not disrepectful at all...if you are respecting work. 

P.S 2- Due to a very strong opinion from one of my bosses despite my logic, I saw it prudent to drop my salutation policy in order to create a healthy working environment. So, for about 4 -5 months I guess after July 2022. As my boss moved on...I am moving on again back to my policy on 15th December 2022. It would thank him however for adding another perspective to my blog. My boss said "I read your blog but you see there is a difference between a spoken word and a written word". I guess he was right but the best thing for humanity is to minimise the gap between spoken and the written. Often humans are more cautious on what to write as they can be held to account. By bridging the gap, one may perhaps also provide power to whats the spoken word. A thought.