Wednesday, March 20, 2013

Mere Dad ki Maruti - A lesson in parenting

Watched the new flick 'Mere Dad ki Maruti' yesterday...great entertainment. But I am not going to review the film here. Woh kehte hain na ki halwai ko hamesha mithai nazar aati hai. Educationist ko hamesha education nazar aati hai.

I could see one of the primary lessons of parenting in the film...but not in action.

The primary  lesson is that of trust betwen a parent and a child...such that if a child goofs up in life...the first person to contact and confess has to be the parent. You may drill this into your  child...right from day one. Because if you dont then what happens is ...Mere Dad ki Maruti.

The film is all about a kiddo sneaking out his Dad's Maruti Ertiga to impress his girlfriend. The car gets lost and the kiddo is freaked out. Then starts a series of lies and arrangements...such that the father doesnt get to know that the car is lost. The kid gets into more and more trouble...and even at some point thinks of commiting a theft in his own house.

Such is the fear of parents...that kids will do anything not to let the parent know of a failure in life. We have heard so many incidents of kids faking parents signatures on report cards and what not.

Well had this not been the case...we wouldnt have got this entertaining flick...which ends on a good note. But not all such stories end in a good note in real life.

Kids get into murkier things in life and relationships with parents go from bad to worse.

The answer as I said before lies in a simple lesson in parenting - Give permission to your kids to let you know first if they  ever goof up...dont cover and assure them that you wouldnt scold or hurt them...thats it.
I assure you will be a happy parent forever.

Part 2
The logic extends to early adulthood as well. I know of a 26 something youngster boy  who lost his job and didnt tell his parents. The reason...yaar Mom and Dad get tensed and thats it. I will tell them once I get the next job...what if he doesnt. Its the same old story of childhood repeating itself. nothing else.

Part 3
This will be outrageous for most readers I know but I would fully self express myself here.

I am a dog lover and have been the proud owner of 2 dogs. One dog phenomena which every dog owner faces is that some dogs when they are able to break free sometimes dont come back. They would run here and there in the lawn or the society matter how much the owner shouts 'Frisky...come here'...the dog doesnt come back. The owner tries to scare the dog and shouts in anger but the dog does not come back. After a while the dog gets tired and comes back on its own to the owner...and the owner gives it a tight slap. Whats the message the dog gets...never go back to the owner and this keeps on repeating. The dog never gets trained. Most dogs dont.

And then there are some wise one's like me...who got this tip from a trainer. who give the dog a treat when it comes back...and Wow...the next time the dog runs free...he comes back quickly to the owner...because he knows he wont get a slap.

Try it out with your kids...Create trust in them that when they goof up....they come back to you. And dont mind my comparison between dog training and parenting

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